Between The Lines-The Amell Chronicles: Angelina's Story
by Michelle Clover
Summary: This is the story of Angelina Amell, Warden Hero of Ferelden, and Alistair, the country's future king, at the time of the Fifth Blight. Written as a prequel to the events of my first fic, Aftermath: A New Beginning. Some AU. Rated M for a reason.
1. After The Harrowing

**A/N-This is a project I have been thinking of working on for quite some time now. My first completed long fic, ****_Aftermath: A New Beginning_**** is still my personal favorite of the stories I have written. Originally, it was meant to be a sequel to another story, but I scrapped that project early on because I tried to write it as one long fic about Hawke's days in Kirkwall. I found that I just didn't want to rehash every detail in the game and I was more interested in what was going on that we didn't see (Plus a bit of AU for what we did). I came up with the idea of one-shots instead and decided to finally bite the bullet and write them, beginning with the Warden Amell (who plays a large part in ****_Aftermath). _**

**As always, Bioware owns everything.**

Angelina's head was pounding as her eyes blinked open. Her Harrowing was finally completed and it was much easier than what she thought it would be. She knew there was something fishy about that damned apprentice she met in the Fade from the moment he approached her. What she found hard to believe was that there were other apprentices that had actually been fooled by such a ruse. As her surroundings came into focus, she realized that someone was standing above her.

"Are you alright? Say something please" she heard her best friend, Jowan, ask.

Angelina sat up, put her feet to the floor and shook herself awake. "Jowan?"

"I'm glad you're alright. They carried you in this morning. I didn't even realize you'd been gone all night. I've heard about apprentices who never come back from Harrowings. Is it really that dangerous? What was it like?"

The female mage shrugged. "It wasn't that bad. I really don't see what all of the fuss is about."

"Really?" he asked with surprised bewilderment. "Everyone makes it sound as if it's like facing the Void itself. So what did you have to do?"

"Let's just say that you have to use your brain. Not that difficult, really." She smirked. "Of course, that means you'll be in serious trouble when the time comes."

He rolled his eyes. "Very funny, Angie."

She giggled. "You know I'm kidding. I'm sure you'll be fine."

Jowan's shoulders slumped as he gave a heavy sigh and sat down next to her. "I guess you'll be moving to the mage's quarters upstairs now and I'll still be stuck here waiting. I don't know when they'll call me for my Harrowing."

Angelina put a hand to his shoulder. "Don't worry so much, Jowan."

He scowled. "Easy for you to say. I've been here longer than you have…Sometimes I think they just don't want to test me."

It was Angelina's turn to roll her eyes. "Oh, please Jowan. You've been here a whole two months longer? Just work on your flame spells a bit more and I'm sure you'll be ready."

He shook his head despondently. "I'm just afraid of what will happen to me. It's not like I can stay an apprentice forever. You do the Harrowing, the Rite of Tranquility…or you die. Those are the only options."

Angelina smiled sympathetically. "They're not going to kill you, Jowan."

"They might not" he said softly. "But the Right of Tranquility is just as bad…maybe worse. The tranquil are so cold. No, not even cold. There's just…nothing. It's like their dead, but still walking. Their voices…their eyes…just lifeless."

The female mage smoothed back his hair. "I think you're reading too much into this, Jowan" she reassured him. "But I'll help you if you'd like. We can work on your casting together."

"And how are you going to do that now that you'll be living upstairs. We won't have the same classes anymore. We won't even have the same meal times. I doubt you'll have time to even talk to me, let alone help me. And even if you do have time…you probably won't want to."

She cupped his chin and turned his face so he could see into her bright blue-green eyes. "You are my best friend and you have been since we were seven. I'm not going to just move upstairs and forget about you. We'll always be together Jowan, no matter what." She stopped for a moment, reminded of a question she had been meaning to ask him. "Speaking of which, best friend, where in Andraste's name have you been sneaking off to after lights out every night?"

He quickly pulled away from her and stood. "I almost forgot, I was supposed to tell you to see Irving as soon as you woke up."

Angelina scowled. "Evade the question, if you want, but I will find out. I always do."

"We'll talk about it later" he sighed. "Okay?"

"Fine" she huffed. "So what does Irving want to see me about?"

"I don't know" Jowan replied. "But you better not keep him waiting. Otherwise he might think that I didn't do as he asked."

Without another word, he disappeared through the doorway. As Angelina brushed out her long dark-brown hair and tied it up at her crown, she couldn't help but wonder why Jowan was acting so odd. It wasn't as if he had any other friends in the tower and none of the female apprentices were ever interested in him. He was awkward and shy and some females even considered him a bit creepy. There had been rumors floating around that he was a blood mage, but Angelina knew better. Jowan had trouble mastering minor flame spells. He'd probably kill himself if he ever attempted using blood magic. Still, there was something going on and she was bound and determined to find out what it was.

After straightening her robes and doing a quick job of her makeup, Angelina headed for Irving's office. When she reached the main rotunda on the second floor, she decided to make a detour through the library first to see if she could catch a glimpse of the newest templar who had been assigned to the tower. Jenna told her that Riker was tall, well-built and extremely handsome and Angelina wanted to see him for herself. She couldn't explain it, but she had always found herself attracted to the men who watched over the mages. She figured it was probably due to the fact that fraternization between mages and templars was strictly forbidden and the thought of having an illicit romance with one held a certain amount of danger and intrigue. Unfortunately, the only templar guarding the library that morning was Shepland and he was an ugly old coot with a bad attitude and even worse breath.

_Oh well, _she sighed. _Maybe tomorrow. _As she rounded the corner to the mage's rooms, Angelina spotted her favorite templar in the place and her mood picked up instantly. She put on her most winning smile as she approached the tall blonde man. "Hello Cullen" she greeted him cheerfully.

Cullen began fidgeting nervously. "Oh…um…hello, Miss Amell."

Angelina tilted her head to the side and shook it with a coquettish smirk. "Cullen, how many times do I have to remind you?…Call me Angie."

"I…I'm sorry…I just can't do that" he stammered.

The mage waggled her head. "I'll get you to do it someday" she proclaimed as she took a step closer to him. "Now that I'm moving up to the second floor, we'll be seeing a whole lot more of each other."

He gulped. "By the way…I…I wanted to congratulate you on passing your Harrowing."

"Thank you" she smiled. "You were there weren't you?"

He nodded. "Yes…I was given the duty to…well, you know…if anything went wrong."

Angelina moved forward another step until she could feel his warm breath caressing her face and pouted. "Would you have really cut me down, Cullen?"

The templar tried to retreat back a step, but the wall at his rear stopped him in his tracks. Sadness filled his apologetic green eyes. "I wouldn't have relished doing it, but I would have done my duty if it had been required of me."

"It's okay, Cullen. I understand, but it does make me feel better to know you wouldn't have enjoyed the job."

He searched her eyes longingly. "Of course I wouldn't have…Angie."

She glanced down the corridor to either side before putting her mouth next to his ear. "Thank you, Cullen…for caring" she whispered before letting her lips softly touch his cheek. She felt his body shudder against hers at the contact and his natural musk mixed with his cologne was enough to make her light-headed as she reluctantly pulled away from him. Of all of the templars she flirted with and teased, Cullen was the only one whom she honestly wished to be with. He was handsome, kind and shy. He was truly unlike any other templar she had ever met in her thirteen years at the tower.

His face was bright red as he flashed a shy, boyish grin. "My shift ends just before supper this evening, perhaps…maybe we can talk more then?"

Angelina nodded. "That would be lovely, Cullen. I look forward to it." She turned to head to Irving's office and stopped to wave back at him over her shoulder. It was an exciting prospect. Now that she had passed her Harrowing, she was free to dine with a templar if she so wished. The tower was a bit less restrictive for a full-fledged mage and when she finally made Enchanter in a few years, she would even be allowed to leave the Hold on occasion. The future was definitely looking much brighter.

The young mage found herself nearly skipping to the First Enchanter's office, but her mood went sour when she noticed the Knight-Commander was with Irving. There was no getting around the fact that Greagoir was a first-class prig. He held no love for mages and made no secret of that fact. Angelina only hoped that his presence had nothing to do with her. It was then that she noticed a stranger dressed in silver and blue armor standing with the other two men. They didn't see her standing there, so she moved away from the door a bit to listen.

"Many have already gone to Ostagar" the Knight-Commander was saying. "Wynne, Uldred and most of the senior mages. We've committed enough of our own to this war effort."

"Your own?" the First Enchanter asked with an amused expression. "Since when have you felt such kinship with the mages, Greagoir? Or are you afraid to let the mages out from under Chantry supervision where they can actually use their Maker-given powers?"

Greagoir was incensed by Irving's astute observations. "How dare you suggest…"

The bearded stranger interrupted. "Gentlemen, please." He nodded his head in Angelina's direction. "Irving, I believe someone is here to see you."

The other two men turned toward the door and Angelina stepped out into the open. "You wanted to see me, First Enchanter?" she asked.

Irving beamed at his protégé. The First Enchanter had taken Angelina under his wing personally when she was still a girl. In fact, she was the only apprentice he had mentored since gaining his title. She asked him why once and all he would tell her is that he saw a potential in her that he hadn't seen since he was a young lad and that she was, "destined for greatness".

"Ah, if it isn't our newest sister in the Circle." He beckoned her in further. "Come, child."

The young mage entered the room and the uniformed man moved next to Irving. "This is…?"

The First Enchanter nodded. "Yes. This is she."

Greagoir sneered at the intruder before addressing the older man again. "Well, Irving, you're obviously busy. We will discuss this later."

"Of course" the First Enchanter said dismissively before returning his attention to his student. "Well then…where was I? Oh, yes. This is Duncan of the Grey Wardens."

Angelina gave a small bow of her head. "A pleasure to meet you, ser."

"I suppose you have heard of the troubles to south?" Irving asked her. Angelina nodded in answer. "Duncan is here to recruit more mages to fight at Ostagar. However, there is no need for you to worry about such things, child. This is supposed to be a happy day for you. I called you here to congratulate you on passing your Harrowing and to give you a few things that come with your new status."

The older man handed her a bundle of new robes, a ring and a new staff. "Thank you, First Enchanter" she said graciously as she took the items.

"Now, if you don't mind, could you please show our guest to his room? It is at the end of the hall just past the mage's quarters. I believe Cullen is on duty this morning, so when you finish your task, you can ask him to show you to your new assigned room." He turned back to the Grey Warden. "We will talk more over lunch after you have had time to settle in and rest a bit, Duncan."

The Warden bowed. "I look forward to it, my friend."

Angelina led Duncan down the corridor toward the library. Duncan said that he needed more mages to go to Ostagar and since most of the senior mages were already gone, she wondered if he would be taking some of the younger gifted who had passed their Harrowings. The thought of leaving the tower to fight in a battle was a bit frightening, but at the same time, exhilarating. Maybe she could convince the Grey Warden Commander to take her with him.

When they reached his room, Duncan thanked the young mage. She circled to leave, but stopped before she got to the door. "Ser, may I ask a question?"

He smiled warmly. "Of course, young lady."

"I heard Enchanter Wynne and some of the senior mages talking before they left. They said that the reason they had to go to Ostagar was because darkspawn had invaded the Wilds. And you being a Grey Warden and all, well…you wouldn't be here recruiting if that weren't true, correct?"

"That's correct" he nodded.

"I'm just wondering…does that mean that this is the beginning of another Blight? Here in Ferelden?"

The bearded man peered at her curiously. "How much do you know of the darkspawn and the Blight?"

"Only what I have read in books, of course" she answered. "I have read all of the stories about every Blight before and how the Grey Wardens helped defeat them. I also know that darkspawn are supposed to be descended from the mages that tried to defy the Maker and take over the Golden City which turned it black. And the archdemons are the old gods that those mages worshipped."

Duncan chuckled. "It seems you do know a great deal about the subject then. As far as your question is concerned, I believe that this is the beginning of another Blight. Although there are many that would disagree with me. We Grey Wardens are able to sense when the archdemon awakens. Even though it hasn't made its appearance, I believe it is only a matter of time."

Angelina nodded before pursing her lips. "I have heard that mages can be Grey Wardens. Is that true, ser?"

The Warden narrowed his eyes. "Why? Are you interested in joining our ranks?"

She shrugged her shoulder. "It would have to better than being trapped in the tower for the rest of my life."

"Grey Wardens pay a heavy price to become what we are, young lady. And being a Warden isn't exactly freedom. You are bound to a higher purpose for the remainder of your days and duty to the Wardens comes first, above anything else."

"It's something to consider. Do you think that there is any way that I could join the other mages in Ostagar, at least?"

"Every mage is needed now. If you truly want to go with me, I could speak with Irving about it when I see him later."

The mage grinned. "Would you? I would love the chance to prove my skills somewhere outside of a classroom."

Duncan nodded. "Then I will see what I can do. For now though, I am sure you have other things to attend to other than listening to an old man like me rattle on."

She bowed, the smile never leaving her face. "Of course, ser. Enjoy your rest."

When she walked out of the room into the hallway, Angelina ran right into Cullen. "Did I hear you correctly?" he asked with a forlorn expression. "You might be leaving the tower?"

"Were you eavesdropping, Cullen?" she asked with a curious frown.

"I…I…might have overheard…something" he stammered. "But is it true?"

The mage shrugged. "Maybe. I suppose it is up to Irving whether I can go or not."

The templar appeared wounded. His green eyes glistened in the glow of the nearby lyrium lamp. "But I thought…" He sighed. "Nevermind, I suppose it doesn't really matter anyway."

She gave him a small smile, but her insides felt as if they were doing cartwheels. "Irving said that you could show me to my new quarters."

"Yes, of course" he whispered.

After Cullen took her to her assigned room and she laid her things on the bed, he turned to leave and Angelina put a hand on his shoulder. "Cullen, what was it that you thought?"

He circled and stared right into her bright blue-green eyes. He took a step toward her and bent his head until his lips were nearly touching hers. "I suppose I thought that we could be…closer…now that you are a fully-fledged mage."

Angelina felt as if she might faint. Was he really saying what she thought he was saying? The man she thought about every night when her head hit her pillow until sleep overtook her…did she really have a chance with him?

"What do you mean by…closer?"

He took her delicate hands into his and caressed them with his large, calloused fingers. "I…I care about you, Angie…a great deal…much more than I should. I think about you all of the time. I know that it's wrong, but I can't help it."

He swallowed hard before closing the gap between them and touching his lips to hers. Angelina melted into him and wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him closer. She felt his arms tighten around her as his hands moved up her back to the nape of her neck. She had been kissed many times before by many different men and boys, but it didn't compare to the feeling of that kiss. It was everything she dreamed it would be and more.

When he finally pulled away, Cullen caressed her cheek with his thumb and smiled. "You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that."

"You have no idea how long I have wanted you to do that, Cullen."

He searched her eyes. "Do you think this can even work? If we keep it a secret? If we're caught, it will mean a transfer for me at the very least…maybe even dismissal from the Order. And there is no telling the trouble it might bring to you."

Angelina shook her head. "I don't care, Cullen. I just want to be with you."

He nodded with a wide grin. "I feel the same way. So…do you still think you want to go to Ostagar?"

The mage chuckled. "Not a bloody chance in hell."


	2. A Warden Recruited

**A/N-The second one-shot of the series. Some of the dialogue has been changed from canon to suit the needs of my story and Angelina's character. Bioware owns all.**

Angelina lay on the cold stone floor, the wind knocked out of her lungs, as she watched her best friend in the world run past her toward the door leading out of the tower. She put her pounding head back down to the ground and closed her eyes. She just couldn't believe it. Jowan was a blood mage. Never in a million years would she have suspected it, not from him of all people. She slowly picked herself from the ground and crawled over to Irving, who was lying face down on the floor, to see if he was okay. The old man propped himself up on his hands and peered up at Angelina.

"Are you alright?" he winced with pain. "Where's Greagoir?"

The Knight-Commander rose slowly from the ground. "I knew it…blood magic!" He shook his head angrily. "But to overcome so many…I never thought him capable of such power."

Angelina pursed her lips. "I can't believe he just did that. He was my best friend and I had no idea…"

"None of us suspected this" Irving admitted. He turned to the Knight-Commander. "Are you alright, Greagoir?"

"As good as can be expected considering the circumstances" Greagoir sneered. "If you had let me act sooner, this would have never happened. Now we have a blood mage on the loose and no way to track him down."

Angelina was incensed by the way the Knight-Commander was talking to her mentor. Irving was like a father to her and the other man had no right to speak to him in that manner. "I'm sure you'll think of something Knight-Commander" she said, her airy voice dripping with sarcasm. "Look at it this way, you'll finally get to use that sword of yours on something other than mages in the grips of their Harrowing."

Greagoir rounded on her. "How dare you speak to me in such a manner? This is your fault. If it wasn't for you helping Jowan into the phylactery chamber, he would have no hope of evading us." He then circled on Jowan's girlfriend, Lily. "And you! You helped a blood mage! Look at all he's hurt!"

"You forced his hand" Angelina interjected.

Lily bowed her head. "I can speak for myself" she told the young mage. "Knight-Commander…I…I was wrong. I was accomplice to a…a blood mage." The initiate walked toward Greagoir. "I will accept whatever punishment you see fit. Even…even Aeonar."

"So that's it?" Angelina asked incredulously. "Not an hour ago, you were professing your undying love for Jowan. Now you are just giving up? He revealed himself a blood mage to protect you and has made his life forfeit. Did his sacrifice really mean so little to you?"

Greagoir pointed to Lily before the woman could answer. "Get her out of my sight" he bellowed. He faced Angelina. "Your antics and words have made a mockery of this Circle! I may not be able to punish Jowan for his crimes just yet, but I can punish you."

The young mage narrowed her lids and stared at the Knight-Commander defiantly. "Do whatever you want. I stand by my decision to help Jowan."

Greagoir lowered his face to hers. "You helped a blood mage escape" he seethed. "You will pay for this insolence."

Just then, a familiar voice interrupted. "Knight-Commander, if I may…" Duncan approached the scene causing Greagoir to grimace angrily. "I am not only looking for mages to join the king's army. I am also recruiting for the Grey Wardens. Irving spoke highly of this mage and I would like her to join the Warden ranks."

Irving shook his head. "Duncan, this mage has assisted a maleficar and shown a complete lack of regard for the Circle's rules."

The Knight-Commander raised his chin with an air of superiority. "Yes, she is a danger. To all of us."

The Warden gave a small smile to the young mage. "It is a rare person who risks all for a friend in need. I stand by my decision. I will recruit this mage."

"No!" Greagoir spat. "I refuse to let this go unpunished!"

Angelina's back stiffened and she held her head high. "If the Grey Wardens will have me, I will gladly go."

"Greagoir, mages are needed" Duncan reasoned. "This mage is needed. Worse things plague this world than blood mages…you know that." He put a gentle hand to Angelina's shoulder. "I take this young mage under my wing and bear all responsibility for her actions."

The Knight-Commander shook his head with disgust. "A blood mage escapes and his accomplice is not only unpunished, but is rewarded by becoming a Grey Warden. Are our rules nothing? Have we lost all authority over our mages? This does not bode well…for any of us."

"Enough," Irving interjected quietly. "We have no more say in this matter."

Angelina saw the old man's eyes glistening as he gave her a sad smile. She felt a tug at her arm. "Come," Duncan commanded. "Your new life awaits."

Without another word to Irving or Greagoir, Angelina turned and followed Duncan out into the hall. He allowed her enough time to go to her room and gather her few things into a pack. She grabbed an extra set of robes, her underthings and some toiletries along with a small, clay figure of a bird that Jowan had made and given to her for a Satinalia gift when they were still children. As she strapped her pack to her shoulder, she heard someone lightly rap on the door. Angelina looked up, expecting to see Duncan. Instead, her eyes met with a heartbroken Cullen's bright green orbs.

"So it's true" he whispered. "You're leaving."

She bit her lip to stop the flow of tears that threatened to fall. "I'm sorry Cullen. I have no choice."

"I know" he nodded. "I heard what happened." He paused for a long moment as if trying to discern what he wanted to say. "Just tell me one thing…why? Why would you do something like that?"

Angelina approached the templar and took him by the hands. "Jowan asked me to help him escape so he could be with the woman he loved…away from the Circle." She stared down at his large fingers which were covering her palms. "I understood how he felt. I…I thought about us, and I had to help him."

"But he was a blood mage."

She shook her head. "I didn't know that. I didn't even suspect it. I thought I was doing the right thing. My only regret is that my actions are going to make me lose you."

Cullen nodded then cupped her chin with his fingers. He lifted her face and gazed into her eyes. "I will never forget you, Angie" he whispered before tenderly pressing his lips to hers.

Angelina tried to burn that kiss into her memory. Even if she never saw him again, she knew she would never forget him either or the brief moments they had shared. For the first time in her life, Angelina felt real love for a man and it was breaking her heart to leave him behind. He pulled away and unclasped a silver chain from his neck before placing it around hers and refastening the catch. At the end of the chain dangled a small silver amulet with the templar symbol etched into its front.

"This was given to me the day I gained my commission" he told her as he thumbed the tiny sword and flames. "I want you to keep it…to remember me."

She threw her arms around his neck. "I could never forget you Cullen" she breathed into his hear, her tears dampening his cheek.

"I love you, Angie" he whispered back before kissing her softly on the cheek and turning to head out of the room.

"I love you too, Cullen" she quietly called after him. He stopped and put his hand on the wooden frame of the door before nodding and walking away.


	3. Something In Common

"Keep that filthy mutt away from my tent" Morrigan demanded on their first night at camp. "He keeps rifling through my things."

Their newest companion, Harley, trotted over and laid his big head across Angelina's lap. The younger woman looked down at the mabari and sighed before scratching him behind the ears. "I'm sorry, Morrigan. I'll try, but he seems to have a mind of his own and I don't know a thing about training dogs."

"Hmph" the apostate huffed. "Well, if he does not learn to stay away from my tent, he may find himself with no mind at all."

She spun on her heel and stomped away leaving Angelina to deal with Harley looking up at her with big brown eyes. "I've always heard that mabari are bright. If you know what's good for you, boy, you'll stay away from Morrigan. I get the distinct impression that she wasn't joking."

Harley tilted his head and whimpered quietly before settling back into the young mage's lap. She hadn't been lying when she said she didn't know how to train a dog. She had never even seen one before Ostagar. There were always cats hanging around the tower to chase mice away, and the apprentices would treat them as pets quite often, but she didn't have a clue about dogs other than what she had read in books. As Angelina ran her hand across the big animal's fur, Alistair stooped down next to her and grinned. It was the first time she had seen him smile since just before the battle at Ostagar began.

"Good boy" he whispered. "Don't worry about that nasty old Morrigan. I'll protect you."

"Don't tell him that" Angelina admonished. "He needs to learn to stay away from her."

The other Warden shrugged. "You're probably right. I wouldn't put it past her to kill a dog…or anything else for that matter." He stole a glance at the witch's tent. "So why did we agree to have her come along with us again? You're a mage. It's not like we really need another one."

She arched a brow. "You too, huh?"

His head jerked back in surprise. "Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?"

Angelina shook her head. "I can't say I'm surprised, really…you being a former templar and all."

Alistair's face screwed up in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

The mage rolled her eyes. "Don't play dumb. You know what I mean."

He waggled his head. "I'm not playing. I really have no idea what you're talking about."

Angelina bit her lips in order to stifle a chuckle. "Never mind" she told him.

His brow furrowed. "No really…what did you mean by 'you too'?"

The younger Warden sighed with irritation. "I mean…you don't like mages. I get it. The world fears us because of the power we can wield. You are taught by the Chantry at a very young age that we are all potential demons just waiting to unleash our evil taint on the world." Her voice began to raise with her ire. "Bloody hell, we are taught the same inane bullshit in the Circle. We have to be ever vigilant because the demons will overtake our minds if we let our guard down for even a moment. That is why we must be constantly watched so we won't become a danger to ourselves."

"I take it you don't believe that?" Alistair asked with a slightly bemused expression.

"I say it's a bunch of horseshit" spat the mage. Harley must have sensed her rising anger because he quickly jumped up and growled at Alistair before trotting away and settling himself next to a nearby boulder.

"There's no need to get angry" the other Warden said trying to calm Angelina down.

Her shoulders slumped as her righteous indignation began to fade. "I'm sorry. I can't help it. I just get so tired of hearing it. And the looks…did you see the way that priestess glared at me back in Ostagar? Like I was going to sprout claws at any moment and she was prepared to pounce on me when it happened?"

He shrugged as he sat down next to her. "I guess I didn't notice."

"Well I did, and believe me, she wasn't the only one. I'm used to templars looking at me in such a manner, but I guess I never thought that regular people would see me that way as well. I've been through the Harrowing. I've faced a demon who tried to trick me to gain a foothold into this world, but I recognized his ilk. I know that there are some mages who can't. I even know that there are mages who seek out demons to gain power…but to lump us all into one category...it's just…wrong." She turned to him, her bright blue-green eyes pleading for him to understand. "You could say the same thing about anybody. Soldiers use swords to fight, but there are some people in this world who use them to kill senselessly. They murder and pillage and rape the innocent, yet no one lumps soldiers into the same group as those types of people. They are judged by their actions, not by their weapons. Why are mages not looked on the same way? There are good mages and bad mages. Just like there are good swordsmen and bad swordsmen. We are all people. It is our hearts and our minds that determine who we are, not our Maker-given gifts and talents."

Alistair pursed his lips. "I'll let you in on a little secret…that's why I was so happy when Duncan conscripted me. When I was in training to be a templar, I was present at one Harrowing where the girl had to be killed. It was awful. I decided then and there I never wanted to have to do that. The way they weed out what the Chantry considers 'undesirables' is just sickening. I always thought that if the girl had been trained better, maybe her fate would have been different."

Angelina drew a deep breath and smiled. "It's nice to hear that there is someone who understands that fact. I was lucky enough to have been taught to recognize the trickery of demons, but not every mage is. They never tell us beforehand what our test will be and apprentices go years fearing it. We are taught how to use our magic effectively enough, but nothing too powerful. We are taught how to recognize the different classes of demons and their base natures, but never how they can disguise themselves as something else. The true test is about misplaced trust and those ignorant fools with good hearts and little training fall prey to demons. It's almost as if the Chantry wants us to fail."

"Do you really believe that?" he asked quietly.

The mage frowned. "I'm not saying that all in the Chantry are like that, but I honestly think that there are many who would be much happier if all mages just disappeared off the face of Thedas forever. They can't just kill us all off because there are too many people in the world who would disapprove of mass genocide, so they simply lock us away behind stone walls. They tell us it is for our own protection as well as the outside world's, but I don't think people would fear us nearly so much if the Chantry didn't teach them to. You can't imagine what it's like to be torn from your mother's arms and locked away when you are but a child."

"Actually, I sort of can" Alistair croaked with a forlorn expression. "I never knew my mother. She died when I was born. I spent nearly half of my life in Redcliffe. The arl took me in, but it was hardly a home. I slept in the stables most of those years, working as a servant of sorts. Eamon was kind enough to me, but it was nowhere near a real childhood. He married a young Orlesian woman who hated me because there were rumors that I was the arl's illegitimate child. She convinced Eamon to send me away when I was ten so he took me to the Chantry in Denerim and handed me over to the Grand Cleric. I hated it there and I was angry with the arl for imprisoning me for simply being an orphan. My future was decided for me. I wasn't given the option to be anything but a templar."

Angelina's stomach lurched. Alistair didn't know exactly the things she had endured, but he obviously had a good idea and in some ways, had it worse. At least she had a comfortable bed to sleep in and friends and senior mages to care about her. Alistair apparently had no one. Before she knew what she was doing, Angelina wrapped her arms around her fellow Warden in a comforting hug. He did not pull away, but simply nuzzled his head into her shoulder.

"I'm sorry Alistair," she whispered. "What an awful thing to do to a child. I guess we're more alike than I imagined."

He nodded silently and tightened his arms around her as if it were the first real human contact he had ever experienced. Angelina absentmindedly stroked the back of his head, the way she used to do for Jowan when he was upset. When Alistair finally pulled away from her, his eyes were glistening in the firelight. He wiped at them furiously, apparently embarrassed that she had seen his tears.

"I…I have never spoken to anyone about that" he confessed. "I'm sorry for blubbering."

She gave him a sympathetic smile. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Alistair. I should apologize to you for bringing up something so painful."

He shook his head. "You couldn't have known."

She lightly touched his cheek. "I suppose Duncan rescued us both."

Alistair nodded. "I suppose he did." He stared into her eyes for several moments and Angelina noticed, not for the first time, how handsome he was. Her body shuddered slightly as she drew a deep breath. His gaze was so intense, as if his hazel eyes were staring right into her very soul. He covered her hand on his face with his own, sending gooseflesh prickling over her skin. "Thank you…" he finally whispered "for listening."

She smiled again. "I'm here for you anytime you need me, Alistair."

He exhaled loudly before removing her hand from his cheek, but did not immediately let go of it. "I suppose we need to get some rest. We should make it to Lothering in the morning and I have a feeling it's going to be a long day."

"Of course" she agreed.

He stood and pulled her up with him before finally releasing her hand. "Goodnight, Angelina."

"Please…call me Angie."

He nodded with a smile. "Alright, then. Goodnight Angie. I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning."

She grimaced. "Not too early I hope."

His smile widened to a boyish grin. "Very early. You have to make us breakfast."

Angelina's lids narrowed. "Why? Because I'm a woman?"

"No, because I made dinner and it's someone else's turn…" He wrinkled his nose, "and I don't trust Morrigan not to poison me."

The mage shrugged. "Alright, but I think it's only fair to warn you, I've never cooked a day in my life. You might need to be more worried about me poisoning you."

He scowled. "On second thought, go ahead and sleep in. I'll do the cooking."

As he began to walk away, the young mage had a thought. "Wait…" she called and he pivoted on the balls of his feet to face her again. "Shouldn't one of us stand watch or something? That's what Duncan and I did when we were on our way to Ostagar from the tower."

He smacked the heel of his palm against his forehead. "Duh. How could I be so stupid as to forget something like that? Good thinking, Angie."

"You're not stupid, Alistair" Angelina corrected. "It probably just slipped your mind."

He lifted his left shoulder and let it fall. "Maybe. To tell you the truth, I'm not used to this sort of thing myself. Anyway, I'll take first watch if you'd like."

"I'll tell you what," the young mage proposed "You go ahead and take the first shift and I'll just bed down here on the other side of the fire so you can wake me up easily if you start to get too tired or if there's trouble."

He grinned. "It's a deal."

Angelina quickly retrieved her bedroll from her tent and spread it out a few feet from their campfire. She rolled over onto her side and closed her eyes to think about the same thing she thought about every night when she laid her head down to sleep…Cullen. She missed his bright green eyes and his warm smile greeting her every morning. She thought about writing to him several times since she left the tower, but even if she could find a way to get a letter to Kinloch Hold, she was sure that Greagoir would read it before Cullen even got the chance to see it.

A smile crept over her face as the memories of the first kiss they shared came back to her. She pictured his face, his eyes staring into hers until quite suddenly his green orbs changed to hazel and his face was replaced by Alistair's. She tried to bring the memory back, but she just could not get the thought of kissing her fellow Warden out of her head. Alistair was handsome enough and seemed like a kind and caring man, but she was in love with Cullen…wasn't she? As she pondered that question, Angelina's exhaustion took over and she fell into a fitful sleep.

A great fierce dragon haunted her dreams. It opened its mouth and released a mighty roar to a huge throng of darkspawn which surrounded a crumbling stone bridge over a river of molten lava. Then it turned its dark eyes to her and roared again as if it was calling to her. She was frozen on the spot, unable to call her magic as the beast began flying toward her. She tried to scream out for help, but no sound came. The ground beneath her began to quake making it hard to keep her balance and just when she thought she would fall into the fiery pit below, she felt a strong hand on her shoulder.

"Angie wake up" It was Alistair's voice that was calling to her from somewhere far away. "Wake up!" He yelled louder.

Her eyes flew open, terror miring her face. She was panting so hard that she felt as if she might faint. Alistair's hazel eyes met hers as he put his hands to her cheeks. Her own eyes darted back and forth in confusion as she tried to get control of her breathing.

"Shh," he whispered. "You were dreaming…it was just a dream. I'm here and I'm not going to let anything hurt you."

She gasped loudly before throwing her arms around his neck and hanging on for dear life. "Sweet Maker…it seemed so…so real."

"Did you see a dragon?" Angelina nodded furiously against his shoulder. "I saw it too. A couple of days ago."

The mage had calmed down enough to finally realize that she was probably choking the man she was holding onto and her nails were digging into the muscles of his shoulders. She backed away to look into his eyes again. "Really?" she asked with curious surprise.

"It's the archdemon. With the taint in our blood, we are able to feel it, to see it in our sleep. Some of the older Wardens say they can hear it talking to them, but I sure can't. I'm not certain if it's actually a dragon or not. The one thing I do know for sure though, is that if Wardens see visions of it…it means that there is definitely a Blight."

Angelina's face dropped. "And we are expected to kill that thing? Just the two of us? Alone?"

Alistair bobbed his head solemnly. "Yes. As Grey Wardens, it's up to us to end this by killing the beast."

She shook her head. "But how? How are we supposed to do this by ourselves Alistair? Surely there are other Wardens in Thedas who can come to our aid."

He plopped down next to her and sighed. "I know that there are Wardens all over Thedas…in Orlais, Antiva and the Free Marches…but I don't know where to find them. The only place I know to look for sure is the Anderfels and it would take weeks, maybe months to get there."

"So we're going to have to face that monster on our own?"

"It seems like it."

"Any idea of how we're going to win this by ourselves?"

He chuckled. "The treaties will help us with fighting the darkspawn, but as for the archdemon itself…I don't have a damned clue. I don't even know where to find the bloody thing."

"Well, you'd think we'd have heard something by now about a great big dragon flying about Ferelden, wouldn't you?"

"Duncan thought it would make its appearance at Ostagar, but apparently it isn't quite ready to reveal itself yet." He stared off into the fire. Both Wardens remained silent as they contemplated the seemingly impossible task that lay ahead of them. After a while, he patted Angelina on the knee. "Well, there's nothing we can do about it tonight. You should probably try to get some more sleep."

The mage shook her head. "I don't think so. I'm still pretty shaken up. Why don't you let me take over your watch? I'm not sure I'll be sleeping anymore tonight."

Alistair shrugged. "If that's what you want" he conceded before stretching his arms wide with a yawn. "Wake me up if there's any trouble."

She nodded then said, "Goodnight Alistair" before adding "Sweet dreams" with a mischievous smile.


	4. Return to the Tower

Angelina stepped past the ruin of an ancient archway at the top of the hill. She stared out at the large tower that stood on a small island in the middle of Lake Callenhad and immediately felt a large knot form in the pit of her stomach. There it was, the place that had been both her home and her prison for as long as she could remember.

The events of the past week had been trying at best for the young mage. First she found out that Alistair was no mere Grey Warden, but the late King Maric's son and possible heir to the throne of Ferelden. Although he denied the possibility, Angelina had a feeling that the role would be thrust upon him in the end. That brought up a lot of questions about her budding feelings for him. Almost immediately after Alistair told her that little tidbit of news, they discovered that Redcliffe Village had been taken over by walking corpses. While trying to reach the arl and his family, she found her best friend Jowan locked in the castle's dungeon because he had poisoned Arl Eamon at the behest of Loghain. To top it all off, she discovered that the arl's young son was a mage who had been possessed by a demon and was behind the attacks on the village.

Jowan told her that there was a ritual that could be done to send her into the Fade so she could kill the demon and rescue Connor. The only problem was that it would take either blood magic in the form of a human sacrifice or several mages and a lot of lyrium. Arl Eamon's wife, Lady Isolde had volunteered to be the sacrifice, but Angelina and Alistair needed the arl's help against Loghain and the young mage felt killing his wife might be counterproductive to their cause. And that is what brought her back to the Tower of Magi. She knew that if she told First Enchanter Irving what was going on he would give whatever aid he could to save the life of the boy.

Angelina heaved a long sigh before moving forward toward the dock at the bottom of the hill. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop her hands from trembling nervously. There was one thing that she couldn't get out of her mind as she headed toward the Hold…Cullen. She wondered if he still felt the same as he did a few months ago, the day he told her that he loved her. Her heart pounded in her chest with the anticipation of seeing him again. Maybe she could convince him to come with her to help the Grey Wardens. Maybe they could just pick up where they left off. She glimpsed at Alistair, who was walking next to her, out of the corner of her eye and a whole new wave of emotions crashed against her heart. He would more than likely be made king which would certainly end any relationship they might have, but she couldn't deny her feelings for him. They had become so close since Ostagar, like best friends, but there was so much more. Which made the secret he had hidden from her all the more painful. She tried to be understanding, but if he had told her about his lineage from the beginning would she ever allowed him to get so close to her heart? Her mind was still reeling when she was stopped in her tracks by a templar standing at the end of the pier.

"Stop where you are." the snide blonde man said. "No one is allowed to cross the lake to the Tower. Knight-Commander's orders."

Angelina stuck out her bottom lip in a pout and batted her eyelashes. "No one can pass, Carroll? Not even me?"

He crossed his arms and shook his head. "That's not going to work, Angie. Not this time."

The young mage took a step closer and leaned into the templar. "I know it was a long time ago, Carroll, but have you forgotten all of those nights?" she breathed into his ear. "In the library?"

It had been several years before when it happened. Carroll had just been assigned to the tower and was barely eighteen and extremely naïve when it came to women. Angelina had been sixteen at the time, but far from inexperienced. She had begun flirting with the young templar mercilessly from the day he came to the Tower and one night he had caught her out of bed doing some research in the Senior Enchanter's library well after lights out. When he told her that he had to turn her in, Angelina seduced Carroll by taking him right on one of the long wooden tables in the back corner. After that, they spent the next several months meeting in secret in the same spot. It gave Angelina time to study from the books that apprentices weren't normally allowed access to and Carroll was a decent enough lover. The forbidden aspect to their trysts didn't hurt matters either. Neither of them ever told anyone else about their affair and it probably would have continued longer if a new templar hadn't shown up to the tower and taken over Carroll's duties watching over the library in the evenings.

Angelina had been poring over an ancient tome, expecting Carroll to arrive at any time, when she heard an unfamiliar voice say, "Excuse me miss, but I don't think you are supposed to be here." When she looked up, her eyes met a pair of bright green orbs that were accompanied by a shy, gentle smile.

The young mage smiled back. "Oh, hello."

"H…hello" he stammered quietly.

"You're new here aren't you?"

He nodded. "Yes, I just arrived early this evening. I was given this post about an hour ago by the Knight-Commander."

"What happened to Carroll?" Angelina inquired.

"He's been reassigned to guard a mage who keeps escaping. Apparently he was brought back this morning and has been locked in the lower dungeons. Since Carroll has more seniority than me, he was transferred there."

"I'm Angelina…Angelina Amell, but you can call me Angie if you wish."

"My name is Cullen, Miss Amell."

"Angie" she corrected.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think that would be appropriate miss."

She shrugged as she closed the book that was laid out in front of her. "So I suppose you're going to turn me in now."

The tall blonde man shook his head. "No, but only if you promise me that you will not do this again."

Angelina smiled before standing and making her way to Cullen. She kissed his cheek lightly. "Thank you, Cullen. I promise you won't catch me in here again. I do hope we see more of each other around the tower, however."

When she backed away, she couldn't help but notice the young templar's face had turned a bright shade of red and he wore a goofy grin. "Y…yes, miss. Me too."

Carroll's voice brought Angelina out of her short stroll down memory lane. "I already told you, that won't work Angie. Like you said, it was a long time ago and everyone knows you've moved on since then."

The young mage tried her best to feign innocence. "I have no idea what you're talking about Carroll"

"Don't try to play innocent with me Angelina Amell. I _know_ you, in every sense of the word." He scowled. "You know very well that I'm talking about Cullen. He came in and took over my post and all of a sudden I didn't exist anymore." The templar shook his head bitterly. "I thought we had something. I guess I was just too young and stupid to figure out what you really were. Bringing up the past is a sure fire way to guarantee that you won't get across to the tower. In fact, even if the Maker himself commanded it, you'd be the last person I'd let cross."

Angelina pursed her lips. "I didn't want to have to do this, Carroll, but as a Grey Warden I command you to take me to the tower."

He harrumphed. "So you're claiming to be one of those now are you? Prove it."

The young mage grabbed one of the sealed treaties from her belt and passed it to the templar. "Here. I have the papers to prove to you that I am a Warden."

"Hmm. You know I have some documents too. They say I'm the Queen of Antiva. What do you think of that?"

Alistair blew out a long, exasperated breath, pulled out his sword and put it to the templar's throat. "Look. I don't know what happened between you two and frankly I don't give a damn. We need to get to the Tower. Now are you going to take us there or am I going to have to kill you and take your boat? Either way, we're crossing."

Carroll gulped, causing the blade of Alistair's longsword to move slightly. "F…fine" he stuttered. "Take the damned boat and when Knight Commander Greagoir asks, you tell him you threatened my life to get it. See how much help you'll get then."

Alistair's lids narrowed over his hazel eyes. "I'll take my chances" he hissed before driving his sword back into its scabbard.

Alistair and Angelina silently entered the small boat with Leliana slipping in right behind them. The red-headed rogue untied the craft and gave a hard push at the dock to get them started. Alistair began rowing toward the tower in the distance and looked everywhere but at Angelina's face. When they were better than halfway there, he finally stared into the young mage's eyes. Angelina was unsure of what she saw in those hazel orbs. Was it anger? Jealousy? Disgust? But why? Surely he had to know that she had a past before she became a Warden. He couldn't expect her to be completely innocent. Of course men always held a double standard when it came to that sort of thing. A man could go out and bed every woman he met and he was considered virile and dashing. If a woman did the same, she was branded a harlot. It saddened her to think that Alistair was no different than other men after all.

"So I take it you and that templar have a past?" he asked.

Angelina felt a sense of righteous indignation well up inside her. "Not that it's any of your business, but yes. I guess we both have our little secrets, don't we?"

The expression on Alistair's face made it very clear that she had cut him to the quick. He bit his lips together and turned his eyes back to the black water that surrounded them. The tension between the two Grey Wardens was thick enough to slice through with a knife. Neither of them said another word until they walked through the doors of Kinloch Hold and greeted the Knight-Commander.

* * *

It seemed like it had taken hours to get to the templars quarters just outside of the Harrowing Chamber. Angelina and Alistair, along with Senior Enchanter Wynne and Leliana, had cleared the Tower of every abomination, demon and bewitched templar in the place. Now there was only one task left and that was to kill Uldred and rescue Irving. Along the way, Angelina had searched for Cullen. She looked at the face of every dead templar they found, but she did not see him among them. Where could he have gone? Was there a chance that he survived the ordeal?

Alistair slowly opened the door to the room that housed the stairs that led to the Harrowing Chamber. "There's someone in here. It looks to be a templar trapped in some sort of magical cage."

Angelina scooted past her fellow Warden and spotted the man he had spoken of kneeling within a gleaming circle of light. The templar looked to be praying and as the young mage neared his position, she finally realized his identity.

"Cullen!" she cried as she ran toward him. She dropped to her knees before him, just outside the trap.

He lifted his head. Fear and hatred mired his green eyes as he grimaced at her with disdain. "Get away foul creature!" he bellowed as he scrambled to his feet. "I know what you are and it won't work. I want nothing you have to offer. Now be gone!"

He shut his eyes tight and Angelina slowly found her feet. The way he had looked at her, the words he had spoken. Her heart felt as if it might break in two. "Cullen?" she whispered.

His lids flew open and a mixture of fear and confusion covered his face. "Still here? But that always worked before. I shut my eyes and the visions would go away. What do you want from me? How much more am I expected to take before you find enough mercy to kill me?"

"Cullen, we've come here to find Irving…to rescue him…to rescue you."

The templar dropped to his knees once more. "Please…please…if there is anything human in you at all you will end this torture now." He began rocking back and forth. "Taunting me mercilessly with the one thing I have always wanted but could never really have. The only woman I have ever loved. A mage of all things. I…I know it was wrong. I know it went against everything I stand for. I confess and I ask the Maker's forgiveness. But for the love of all that's holy, please just let me die."

Angelina wanted so badly to reach out and touch his face, to let him know that she was, in fact, real. She wondered how many days he had been trapped in that prison, what they had done to him. "Cullen," she assured him. "It _is _me." She moved her hand to the light and her fingertips began to burn as her they got nearer to it. "I will find a way to get you out of here. I swear it."

He looked up at her with tear filled eyes. "Don't worry about me, Angie. If it really is you…you have to kill Uldred. That is the only way to break this spell. Once he is dead, I will be free."

The young mage nodded as she smiled sadly at him. "I will be back soon. I promise." She turned toward the others. "Head up the stairs" she ordered. "I will be right behind you." As her companions began making their way to the Harrowing Chamber, Angelina returned her attention to Cullen. "I just wanted you to know that I love you. Never forget that."

He choked on the sobs he was trying to hold back. "I love you too, Angie…Now go! Hurry…before it's too late."

* * *

After Angelina and the others had taken care of Uldred and secured Irving, they found Cullen waiting at the bottom of the steps, free of his cage. She flashed a bright smile at the templar and he responded by turning his eyes to the door. His reaction confused her and caused a sharp pain in her belly, but she chose to try to ignore it. After all, Cullen had just been through a horrible ordeal at the hands of blood mages. Perhaps he just needed some time.

When they finally got back to Greagoir, the Knight-Commander was surprised to see Irving alive. Angelina told the older templar that she and her companions had taken care of the abominations in the tower and it was safe to send word that the Right of Annulment wouldn't be needed after all.

"Are you sure about this Knight-Commander?" Cullen questioned. "The First Enchanter has been among blood mages for days. How do we know he's not one of them?"

"What?" an incensed Irving bellowed.

"I mean, how do we know he's not under their influence? How do we know he's not the one who started all of this and Uldred was just his cover? And even if he didn't, I heard the sounds coming out of that chamber. I find it hard to believe that the First Enchanter could endure such torture without giving into it."

"You survived their torture." Irving pressed. "Who's to say you are not under their influence?"

Greagoir shook his head. "That is enough…from both of you." He turned his attention to Angelina. "As much as it pains me to say it, you are the one who dove into the middle of this mess and seemingly corrected it. I told you that I would only believe the Tower was back under templar control if Irving was brought before me. I will stand by whatever decision you make in regards to Irving's allegiances and whether or not he can be trusted."

"I believe Irving to be in his right mind, Knight-Commander. He is safe to return to his position as First Enchanter."

"You are making a mistake" Cullen said in a voice barely above a whisper. "No one ever listens until it is too late."

"That's enough Cullen" The Knight Commander reprimanded him. "Report to the medical officer to see if he needs any assistance."

"But Knight-Commander..."

"Now Templar!" the older man boomed.

Cullen silently skulked away without so much as a glance in Angelina's direction. The young mage watched him as he disappeared around the corner, biting her lower lip to hold back the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. She had to speak to him…alone. Maybe she could help him get through whatever it was that put such bitterness in his heart toward mages.

"Now, you said something about needing aid?" questioned Greagoir.

Angelina shook away her dark thoughts. "Yes," she replied as she pulled a scroll from her belt. "These documents state that the mages are bound to help Grey Wardens during a Blight. We call upon that aid now."

"I will do what I can, but as you can see, the number of mages in this Circle has now dwindled to next to nothing."

"All we ask is that you do your best, Knight-Commander." She paused for a long moment. "There is something else."

"I figured as much" the older templar sneered contemptuously.

"Arl Eamon's young son has been possessed by a demon. We need to take at least a half dozen mages and a crate of lyrium to Redcliffe to save the boy."

"Absolutely not." Greagoir exclaimed.

"Greagoir," Irving interjected. "This young mage has just saved us all. The least we can do is give her the help she asks for. Haven't we seen enough death and destruction at the hands of demons over the past several days? If there is a chance that we can save this boy from the fate that so many mages and templars have met here, shouldn't we at least try?"

The Knight-Commander exhaled loudly in defeat. "Fine. Take those mages that you trust and go. But I expect you back within the week."

"Of course" Irving agreed with a small bow.

While Irving and the other mages were gathering their things, Angelina slipped away from her companions to find Cullen. She located him in the small alcove across from the main inner doorway. He was bending over one of the wounded templars helping the man drink from a pewter mug.

"Cullen?" she whispered quietly to his back. He placed the cup down next to the bedroll that the injured man was lying on and slowly stood. Angelina waited for him to turn to speak to her, but he didn't. "Are you okay?"

He shook his head and finally circled to face her. He wore a pained expression and his green eyes glistened in the light of the lyrium lamp on the nearby wall. "No, Angie. I don't think that I am. I'm not sure I will ever be okay again." She took a step toward him and he retreated two steps. "Please…I need you to keep your distance."

The young mage's brows creased in confusion and she was no longer able to stop the tears she had been so desperately trying to hold back. "But…back there…when you were still trapped…you told me that you loved me."

He nodded slowly. "I do, but my feelings for you are wrong. They always were. The Maker has given me a second chance to atone for that sin. I do not intend to waste it."

Angelina quickly closed the gap between them. Cullen tried to get away from her, but his escape was blocked by two injured men lying on the floor. "How could love ever be a sin in the Maker's eyes Cullen? What I feel for you…how could this be wrong?"

"The Order does not allow any fraternization between templars and mages." He stared into her eyes for a long moment. "It is forbidden" he breathed before pressing his mouth to hers. He pulled her into a tight embrace as his lips moved against hers. Time seemed to stop in that moment and they were the only two people in the world. Suddenly, he pushed her away. "No…I can't. I won't."

"But Cullen…" Angelina pleaded.

He shook his head. "My feelings for you blinded me. What happened here proved what kind of atrocities that mages are capable of. I will not allow anything to steer me away from my Maker-given duties, the ones I swore to uphold…not even you."

With that he pushed past her and hurried for the inner doors, leaving Angelina to fall to her knees in bitter tears.


	5. The Mage's White Knight

The evening after leaving Redcliffe, the Grey Wardens and their companions set up camp in a clearing in a small wood just north of where Lothering had stood only weeks before. After Angelina set up her tent for the evening, she quickly ducked inside and undressed down to her long linen undershirt and smalls. It had been nearly a week since Cullen turned his back on her and she had hardly spoken a word to any of her fellows. To make matters worse, she was sure her best friend would be executed as soon as the arl was healed. At that moment, all she wanted to do was crawl into her bedroll and cry herself to sleep.

Angelina had curled up into a tight ball with her knees against her chest and the tears had just begun to flow, when she heard the flap of her tent rustling. She quickly swiped at her eyes and called a small flame to her hand in time to see Alistair crouched at the entrance of her shelter with a sympathetic smile on his face and a steaming bowl of stew in his hand.

"I brought you some dinner."

"I'm not hungry" she croaked.

"You haven't eaten for days, Angie. I know. I've been keeping track. I also know you haven't been sleeping for shit."

"And how would you know that?" she questioned angrily. "Have you been watching me?"

"It's not that hard to miss the sniffling and rustling coming from your tent every night. No offense, but you look like hell. You can't keep this up. You'll have no strength to fight darkspawn when the time comes."

"Oh" she huffed. "So that's it. I thought you might actually be concerned for my well-being."

"I am concerned…" Alistair sighed with frustration and ran a hand through his short blonde mane. "Look, you need to eat and we need to talk. So either I'm coming in there with you or you're coming out here with me."

The mage shook her head. "I'm not really up for this tonight Alistair."

His brow creased. "I don't remember giving you a choice. As Grey Wardens, part of our job is to look out for each other."

"So I'm just a job to you? One of your many duties?"

Alistair grunted with annoyance. "Dammit woman, will you stop that? Why are you trying to pick a fight with me when all I'm trying to do is help you? No this isn't just a job and yes I'm genuinely concerned for your well-being. Now, you're going to either get your ass out here or I'm going to drag you out by those cute little toes of yours."

Angelina's lids narrowed over her blue-green eyes. "I dare you" she hissed.

Alistair placed the bowl from his hand onto the ground next to him and dove for the mage's feet which she promptly kicked out at his jaw. The former templar's reflexes were better than what she had given him credit for and he grabbed her by the ankles. Angelina found out just how strong he was when he heaved her toward him with one swift motion and her pubic bone hit the top of his thighs.

"Now, are you going to come quietly or do I need to pick you up and carry you the rest of the way to the fire?"

"Fine" she huffed as she put her knees to the ground, causing her most intimate area to graze Alistair's. It was that moment when she realized that he was aroused which caused a smile to creep across her face. Alistair's cheeks began to burn bright red as he backed away.

"Sorry" he murmured.

Angelina shrugged. "Why?"

"I just…It's..." he sighed. "Let's just get some supper…please?"

The mage couldn't help but giggle at his embarrassment and for the first time since they left the tower, her mood had actually lightened. Alistair, however, seemed absolutely mortified by the whole ordeal. "I'm so happy that I could amuse you in such a manner." he snarked.

"I'm sorry Alistair" she apologized while trying to hold her grin at bay. "But the good news is that I now know for certain that cheering me up isn't just another Grey Warden duty for you."

He grimaced. "Oh hardy-har-har. Very funny." He stood and held out his hand to help her up. When she found her feet, she was standing with her body pressed into his. They stared into each other's eyes for several minutes and Angelina could feel Alistair's excitement pulsing against her lower abdomen. He leaned his head down as if he were about to kiss her, but pulled back at the last second. He took her hand again and pulled her toward the fire in the center of the camp.

Once she was seated on a fallen log, Alistair scooped out a fresh bowl of stew for Angelina to replace the one that got knocked over during their scuffle and handed it to her along with a wooden spoon. As she ate in silence, she kept catching him staring at her out of the corner of her eye. Once she was finished her supper, he took her bowl and deposited it into the small barrel that had been designated for dirty crockery. Since Leliana liked doing dishes more than cooking, she usually volunteered for the job that nobody else seemed to want. Angelina watched the red-head begin her nightly chore until she felt Alistair's hand on her knee.

"Do you mind if we find somewhere a little more private to talk?" he asked.

The mage shook her head. "No…not at all."

He took her by the hand once again and led her to the tree-line just beyond her tent. "First of all…I wanted to thank you for what you did for Connor and Isolde. You could have taken the easy way out and just killed Connor or let Isolde sacrifice herself, but you didn't. As much as I dislike Isolde, I don't think I could have forgiven myself if anything happened to either one of them."

"I think there had been enough death and destruction in Redcliffe without adding one of the arl's own family to the fray."

"Well, I appreciate it all the same." He pursed his lips. "Secondly…I wanted to apologize…for not telling you about my father sooner. Very few people in my life know about it and I have never told anyone. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone. And whenever anyone found out, it always changed the way they looked at me. I guess that I simply wanted you to see me as Alistair and not just the bastard son of the king."

Angelina smiled and ran her hand through the hair at his temple. "I'm the one who should be apologizing, Alistair. I, of all people, should understand not wanting people to know who you really are. I shouldn't have gotten angry about you keeping it from me. I'm sorry."

A relieved grin spread across the former templar's handsome face. "There is no need, truly." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a flower. "There's one more thing" he said as he handed it to her. "Take a look at this."

"What's this?" Angelina asked with an arched brow. "Your new weapon of choice?"

He laughed. "Absolutely. Watch as I thrash our enemies with the mighty power of floral arrangements…Or…it could just be a rose."

The young mage chuckled as she looked down at the delicate object in her hand. "It seems that some of the petals are missing. You must have been thumbing this thing for a while."

"I picked it in Lothering. I found it among a lot of dead vines and couldn't help thinking, 'How could something so beautiful exist in a place with so much despair and ugliness?'" He shrugged. "I probably should have left it alone, but I couldn't. I knew the darkspawn would come and destroy it with their taint. So, I've had it ever since. I'm actually quite surprised it hasn't wilted completely by now, but it is apparently as hardy and strong as it is beautiful."

He took a step forward and she could feel his breath on her face. "And what do you intend to do with it now?" She asked in a whisper.

He smiled as he reached up and began caressing her cheek with his thumb. "I thought I might give it to you. In a lot of ways I think the same thing when I look at you." He bent his head lower and pressed his forehead to hers. Angelina felt as if her heart might beat from her chest at that moment and wondered if Alistair could hear the sound.

"Thank you" she breathed. "That may be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me, Alistair."

"I know that this past week hasn't been easy for you." He closed his eyes. "I thought maybe I could say something…Tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you are to find amidst all this…darkness." He pulled away just enough to gaze intently into her bright blue-green eyes and took her hand. "I know it might sound strange, considering we haven't known each other for very long, but I've come to…care for you a great deal. Maybe it's because we've gone through so much together. And I can't help but think you've been feeling the same way." He peered down at her fingers in his palm. "Or maybe I'm just imagining it…Maybe I'm just fooling myself." His hazel eyes met hers once more. "Am I…fooling myself? Or do you really feel the same way…about me?"

In answer to his question, Angelina slowly moved forward until her lips were touching Alistair's. The kiss was everything she imagined it would be and more. His lips were soft, the movement of them tender. They wrapped their arms around one another in a tight embrace as their lips and tongues danced together in perfect rhythm. That first kiss with Alistair was…perfect.

When they finally released from their embrace, Alistair took Angelina's face in his hands and searched her eyes for a long moment. "Maker's breath, you're beautiful Angie. I am a lucky man indeed to find favor in your eyes."

The young mage grinned and was just about to kiss him again, but the sound of a twig snapping in the trees nearby stopped her. "We should probably get back to the others before someone sends out a search party."

"You're probably right" he agreed before taking her in his arms once more. The second kiss was just as good as the first and Angelina felt as if she never wanted to leave the comfort of Alistair's embrace. She wanted him, more than she had ever wanted any man in her life…even more than Cullen. The emotions she was feeling with Alistair were so far above and beyond anything she had ever experienced before that she almost felt dizzy from them.

When Alistair finally pulled away, he silently took Angelina by the hand and led her to the entrance of her tent. He brought her delicate fingers to his lips and placed a soft kiss upon them. "Goodnight, milady" he whispered softly. "Sleep well."

As he turned to walk back to his own tent, Angelina just stood there and watched him in complete amazement. She had never met the likes of Alistair before. After a kiss like that, nearly any other man would have at least tried to take her to his bed, but Alistair didn't even ask and Angelina knew without a doubt that he wanted to. The man was almost too good to be true, like one of the heroes she read about in faerie stories when she was a child. Her very own white knight in shining armor.

As the Warden mage entered her tent, for the first time in her life, she felt ashamed of her past and the things she had done. The princesses in those story books were always proper ladies whose virtue needed to be protected. Not one of them would have ever given in to a tumble just for the fun of it as she had. She wondered if Alistair would reject her if he knew everything she had done while she was in the tower.

She sighed and then smiled. The truth of the matter was, she wasn't a princess in a faerie story. She was a real woman and Alistair a real man. As handsome as he was, she was sure that his past was just as colorful as her own, if not more so. It had always been her experience that good looking men always took advantage of their endowments and would bed as many women as they could. Although Cullen had been an exception to that rule, she was sure that it was only due to the fact that he feared retribution of such an action because of his position as a templar.

As she snuggled up to her pillow, Angelina found herself in a hurry to fall asleep because the sooner she did, the sooner she could see Alistair again. Although the task that lay ahead of them was grim and their odds of success seemed impossible, she felt that having him there with her would make things a little easier. It would make them more bearable.


End file.
